Here is what I know about the Chicago Cubs...The Die-Hard Truth
1. Cub’s fans are Cub’s fans- balls to bones, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get pissed off at the team or especially the Owners.
2. Being a Cub’s fan does NOT mean that you hate the Chicago White Sox (note: being a White Sox fan DOES mean that you hate the Cubs).
3. Wrigley Field is a great old ballpark. The ivy, the design and the feel of the place is all very old school.
4. Drunken guys on the 3rd base line are going to fall onto the field while trying to snag a foul ball. Laugh at these fat, drunk a$$holes.
5. If you are only at the game to party at least play “Buck in the Cup”. That way it will at least look like you are following the game.
6. There are two temperature zones in Wrigley field: Freezing and Boiling. If you are unsure which zone you will be sitting in please bring along a sweater, a hat, a tank top and some sun tan lotion.
7. You MUST throw back an opposing team’s home run ball. Do not try the old switch-a-roo with the ball. Just throw it back. The story is much cooler than a ball on a shelf.
8. There are a few days out of the season that are very special and/or sacred. Opening Day, all of the games in the White Sox series, the final home game of the year and Floppy hat day.
9. There are usually a large number of good looking women at Wrigley Field on any given night. On a sunny day, the bleachers have the most skin showing (If you want to try and get on TV sit next to these women. Just don’t be the moron on the cell phone).
10. If you have bleacher tickets and want to get a good seat you need to show up an hour or two early for the game. The Ugly Truth
1. At least half of the people at the Cub’s game are only there to party.
2. The Tribune Co. does NOT care about winning a World Series. They sell out all the home games anyway.
3. Bartman did NOT cost the Cubs a trip to the World Series. Alex Gonzales missed an easy ground ball on the next play, Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez was unstoppable and we went on to lose game Seven.
4. The bathroom situation at Wrigley Field is a nightmare.
5. Ronny “Woo-woo” is only amusing for 5 seconds. After that he is annoying as hell.
6. The Cubs, as an organization, will destroy any good pitching arm they can get their hands on. I.E- Lance Dickson, Mark Prior & Kerry Wood
7. Sammy Sosa was a spoiled, possibly juiced, bat corking tool.
8. The people constantly on their cell phones and waving are morons. These are probably the same people who sit at Starbucks and work on their “Macs”.
9. Parking in Wrigleyville sucks ass. It always has and it always will.
10. The tickets, the hot dogs, the beer- everything is way over priced for a baseball team that has not been to the World Series in 63 years and has not won the World Series in 100 years.Some things that need to be said about the Chicago White Sox
1. AJ Pierzynski is acknowledged to be kind of an a$$hole. However, that does not give you the right to punch him in the face.
2. US Cellular field is better than Wrigley Field in three ways. First, they serve Miller Lite instead of Budweiser. Second, the food concessions are vastly superior, and finally the entire facility is modern and the amenities like the Stadium Club, the box seats and bathrooms are great.
3. The 2005 Chicago White Sox were a fun, dynamic baseball team. They were fun to watch and truly deserved to win the World Series (see what pitchers whose arms are not wrecked can do.)
4. The 1994 Chicago White Sox might have gone all the way if there had not been a strike.
5. "Shoeless" Joe Jackson deserves to be in the Baseball hall of fame.