25 things I learned in 2009

1. What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
2. Some women don't like you enough to date you but like you enough that they don't want you to date anyone else.
3. Being unemployed for 1 month = Fun, being unemployed for 6 months = Oh Shit!
4. When a woman asks you to go to a hotel with her you say YES!
5. You should just ask for what you want. The worst they can say is no.
6. You don't need a lot of friends. Just a few good ones.
7. Sooner or later everyone makes a drunken fool of themselves at the local bar.
8. My brother can be a real cock block sometimes.
9. Facebook is a black hole of time and energy.
10. Dating older women can be awkward and complicated.
11. Not allowing people to put you on guilt trips is very liberating.
12. Putting women on a pedestal can be dangerous. Sometimes they fall off and land on your buddy's dick.
13. No one can frustrate you like family.
14. Deep down I prefer Brunettes.
15. Friendships , no matter how old, are fragile and once broken never seem to heal completely.
16. My parents want grandchildren... by any means necessary.
17. Giving ex-girlfriends funny animal nicknames will only bite you in the ass later.
18. Falling off a swim up bar is cool and refreshing.
19. I do not like birthday cake and would prefer Tiramisu.
20. Life is definitely less interesting without certain people in it.
21. A woman fresh out of the shower and just wearing a towel is what heaven must be like.
22. Money isn't everything but you do need some to go out drinking.
23. Taxi cabs are way better than DUI's. They are also cheaper.
24. Being the Best Man in a wedding very fun and quite an honor.
25. Being a pirate is fun. Yarrrrrrr!