An open letter to Canadians

Greetings to my friends up North!

I was wondering. What does an American need to do to get a 4 year visa? I am sure I am not the first one to ask. Surely your government has some sort of "presidential term" special. I only need to be gone for the length of one American Presidential term(if Bush wins). I have been to your lovely country a few times. I think I could adjust easily to the culture. It is similar to America with a few exceptions. I suppose I could get used to : the metric system, polite people, clean streets, a lower crime rate, better beer, and attractive women. Damn, why haven't I moved to Canada already?!


Don't get me wrong, I love America. It is just that if George Bush jr. wins another 4 year term I know a lot of crazy suff is going to happen. First, we will invade Iran. You know we will, and that is all we need, more crazy fundementalist muslims after us. Second, the military draft will be reinstated. Don't worry, I am sure the Bush daughters already have a position lined up in the Texas National guard. Third, Bush will alienate the rest of our allies. I don't think even Tony Blair could take another Bush term of office(and Blair has stuck his neck out really far for us already).


So Canada I ask, can I crash on your couch for 4 years? I'll pay for my own groceries. I don't stay out late during the week. I'll chip in for rent and utilities. Come on, it will be fun.