Missing in Action
I owe you all an apology. I have not been very diligent at keeping this blog updated.
I would like to say that I had been captured by Amazon women and had been forced into sexual servitude for the past few months. That is what I would like to say. The reality is that I got lazy and that I had a ton of other stuff going on.
So...
I have come to a realization. I cannot grow decent facial hair.
I am old enough that I should be able to grow a moustache, goatee or beard if I so desire. However, thanks to some sort of genetic quirk I am unable to grow anything that looks normal. Currently I am sporting a goatee that has been growing for 4 weeks. It isn't good. I am going to remove it in the very near future. It was a valiant effort this time. Plenty of time, attention to detail, a new beard trimming device, however, it is just not in the cards for me.
As such, I will add growing a beard to my list of:
Reasons why it would be good for me to be stranded on a desert island.
1) I would lose weight
2) I could get a nice tan
3) I would have time to work out everyday
4) I would finally have enough time to read that indecipherable piece of shit book, Ulysses, that I have been trying to read for the better part of 4 years. James Joyce, I know you are a fellow Irishmen, but how about a few less characters and some more f@#$ing punctuation.
5) I could quit drinking for a while
6) I could quit smoking (I actually just did this but I am leaving it on the list)
7) I could grow my White guy Afro back
8) I could finally grow a beard
Anyway I hope all of you out there have a strong finish to the Dating season this year.
Remember, if you can't be with the one you love, get on her friends.
I would like to say that I had been captured by Amazon women and had been forced into sexual servitude for the past few months. That is what I would like to say. The reality is that I got lazy and that I had a ton of other stuff going on.
So...
I have come to a realization. I cannot grow decent facial hair.
I am old enough that I should be able to grow a moustache, goatee or beard if I so desire. However, thanks to some sort of genetic quirk I am unable to grow anything that looks normal. Currently I am sporting a goatee that has been growing for 4 weeks. It isn't good. I am going to remove it in the very near future. It was a valiant effort this time. Plenty of time, attention to detail, a new beard trimming device, however, it is just not in the cards for me.
As such, I will add growing a beard to my list of:
Reasons why it would be good for me to be stranded on a desert island.
1) I would lose weight
2) I could get a nice tan
3) I would have time to work out everyday
4) I would finally have enough time to read that indecipherable piece of shit book, Ulysses, that I have been trying to read for the better part of 4 years. James Joyce, I know you are a fellow Irishmen, but how about a few less characters and some more f@#$ing punctuation.
5) I could quit drinking for a while
6) I could quit smoking (I actually just did this but I am leaving it on the list)
7) I could grow my White guy Afro back
8) I could finally grow a beard
Anyway I hope all of you out there have a strong finish to the Dating season this year.
Remember, if you can't be with the one you love, get on her friends.
2 Comments:
I have some special vitamins that really helped me grow my nice full, lucious beard.
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