Patrolling the Caribbean
Usually, I prefer a leisurely vacation. Cruises are not as leisurely as one might think. Cruises are packed full of places on ship to explore, things to do and places to visit. There is always something happening on the ship: movies, contests, dancing or partying. You name it and it is happening.
The people were great. The staff really goes out their way to keep you happy. They must get judged by the liquor sales. On deck, it seemed I couldn’t go 5 minutes without someone offering to get me a drink. This is great when you are looking to get your drink on. However, it can get annoying if you are just looking to chill out.
Speaking of drinking on board, although the drinks are not free the prices were not that bad. I got into trouble with the medium sized Captain and Cokes. For $9.50 you can get a 32 ounce double Captain and Coke. Sure it sounds big, but they drink well and go down fast. They also do a good job of sneaking up on you. It wasn’t until the beginning of drink three that I began to notice I was catching a solid buzz. There was one late night bar/club. It is all the way aft on deck 18. Let me explain that to you. It is the farthest back and the highest up you can go on the ship. By the end of the cruise there were several bartenders and waiters that knew me by name. I hold that up as a testament to my people skills.
FYI for the ladies:
Do NOT get your hair braided. If you are over the age of 9 it isn’t cute anymore. The only adult woman who pulled it off well was Bo Derek. You are NOT Bo Derek. If you think that the people on the ship think you look stupid wait until the people back home get a look at you. If you want people back home to know you were on vacation just get a tan like the rest of us. Otherwise, bring in photos.
Repeat after me. I will NOT get my hair braided; I will NOT get my hair braided.
Summary of what I learned on vacation:
1. There are usually a lot of hot chicks by the pool
2. The Dancing Dolphin Catamaran kicks ass!
3. People from Texas are fun to party with
4. My tattoos seem very tasteful compared to what other people have put on their bodies.
5. There must be a school that turns normal guys into douche bags. This school is located in Grand Rapids, Michigan
1. Don’t get into a hot tub of naked strangers
2. There is a reason people from other countries do not like Americans
3. The banana boat is a crude island torture device
4. The Fort Lauderdale airport sucks
5. Even reasonably priced drinks can get expensive when you drink enough of them