So, its your birthday? Well good for you.

So it has come to my attention more and more lately. People seem to have forgotten that everyone has a birthday. Notice that is a singular term; not birthdays or birth week.
I am not sure when this phenomenon began. Although, I am sure it was born of the narcissistic 1980's. Seeing as how most parents have been tricked into thinking that telling their kids they are the center of the Universe is a good idea. These days it is in full bloom.
Many people seem to think everyone is obligated to dedicate a whole week each year to their birthday.

While we are on the topic of birthdays, what is the deal with singing "Happy Birthday" at restaurants?
Every single time I go out there is at least one or two crappy renditions of that song being sung. Usually to some moron by a bunch of waiters and waitresses who would much rather spit in the customers food than sing that stupid song. I have worked in the restaurant business. Let me tell everyone a little secret. We hate you birthday a$$holes.
Who decided that a private celebration of one's birthday should be a public event that is forced on a bunch of strangers? Another thing, just because it is your birthday why does the restaurant or the bartender need to buy you a dessert/drink?

Here's an idea, on your birthday go out with a bunch of your friends. Perhaps if you are lucky a friend will plan a party for you. Do not make strangers sing "Happy Birthday" to you. To tell you the truth I don't even like it when my family and friends sing it to me. First, it is a stupid song. Second, my friends can't sing. Third, everyone stares at you. Fourth, someone always adds an extra verse they learned in third grade. Here is what I have done on my last few birthdays. First I stop at my favorite bar in Chicago for a pre-party Mai Tai. Next we go to dinner somewhere nice. After that it is off to the races. A mini bar crawl. Usually two or three bars is all it takes. Ah yes, birthday drunk. Bring a camera.
Some advantages of this plan:
1) It is easy for people to meet up with you throughout the night.
2) If one bar is slow you can simply move along.
3) New bartenders at each bar mean one thing. They have no idea how loaded you already you are.
4) You can keep the beginning of the party really small and then have a large group by the end of the night.
5) New people at each bar.
6) Your friends will buy you drinks if you are out and about.
7) Being out at bars means no clean up at home.

So just remember everybody.
One birthday, per person, per year.
Don't tell the waiter to sing to you or your buddy.
And party like the Sherpa and you shall find nirvana...
or at the very least a good buzz!