The Ten Most Important & Overlooked Inventions Ever
Forget the lightbulb, I can see just fine during the day. These things are truly important. In no particular order...
1) The Thermos: This thing is damn handy. It can keep cold stuff cold or hot stuff hot. They come in a variety of sizes. Everyone should have one of these. A must have for a college tailgate party.
2) The Zipper: Can you imagine any other fastener on your pants. These things are on jeans, jackets, coats, back packs and about a million other things. Sure occasionally they can get jammed up but all and all a great invention. Except for the time I accidentally got my "little Sherpa" caught in it. I'll tell you, zipping it in doesn't hurt nearly as much as zipping it out. Yowza!
3) Beer / Booze / Hooch: What can I say about this stuff? It is proof of God. It has been around since the dawn of time. I have no idea what tiny hominid came up with this stuff but I want to give that hairy, smelly little guy a hug. I would type more but I am getting a little misty eyed. Sniff, sniff.
4) Coffee: It is the opposite of beer. Here is a formula, Ground coffee beans + Hot water = Happy wake up juice. Try to imagine a Saturday morning without coffee.
5) The automatic scoring machine for bowling: I will admit this, keeping score at bowling can be a little confusing. My guess is that only 10% of the American population can do it. That having been said, this machine has opened up bowling in a very important way. Now the scorekeeper can get just as loaded as everyone else. Speaking as a former scorekeeper, Thank you automatic score machine!
6) Shoes: This has got to be close to the first tool ever made. I think it went spear and then shoes. Our ancestor's feet had to hurt after chasing prey around. My favorite shoe of all time, still the Converse Chuck Taylor Allstar Hi-top.
7) Jenga: This is a personal favorite. Two words- Drinking Jenga!
8) The Bikini / Tube top: They really help women. During the Summer these clothing items help keep ladies cool and comfortable. They can help get rid of tan lines. Can you imagine a state fair, carnival or Theme park without these clothing items. Also cleavage rules!
9) Standup Comedy: A bold chance to express one's comedic ideas to a group of strangers. Live comedy is the best. That is a fact. If you have never seen live standup, go immediately! (We miss you Mitch Hedburg)
10) Chewing Gum / Bubble Gum: Tasty, portable, many flavors. It also comes in handy when one is trying to quit smoking. Like me. Also, everybody likes gum.
Honorable Mentions For The Worst Inventions Ever:
1) Stoplight cameras: Hey if you want to give me a ticket you have to be there and catch me.
2) The FCC: I love it when the Government tells me what is safe for me to see or hear.
3) Tollways: I am from the Chicago area. I think this is purgatory. Screw the tollways!
4) Hallmark Holidays: Hey Hallmark, quit making trouble for us guys. I.E. Sweetest Day.
5) Last Call: I used to work in a bar. I know that the bars can't stay open all night. However, I really do hate last call when I am having a good time.
1) The Thermos: This thing is damn handy. It can keep cold stuff cold or hot stuff hot. They come in a variety of sizes. Everyone should have one of these. A must have for a college tailgate party.
2) The Zipper: Can you imagine any other fastener on your pants. These things are on jeans, jackets, coats, back packs and about a million other things. Sure occasionally they can get jammed up but all and all a great invention. Except for the time I accidentally got my "little Sherpa" caught in it. I'll tell you, zipping it in doesn't hurt nearly as much as zipping it out. Yowza!
3) Beer / Booze / Hooch: What can I say about this stuff? It is proof of God. It has been around since the dawn of time. I have no idea what tiny hominid came up with this stuff but I want to give that hairy, smelly little guy a hug. I would type more but I am getting a little misty eyed. Sniff, sniff.
4) Coffee: It is the opposite of beer. Here is a formula, Ground coffee beans + Hot water = Happy wake up juice. Try to imagine a Saturday morning without coffee.
5) The automatic scoring machine for bowling: I will admit this, keeping score at bowling can be a little confusing. My guess is that only 10% of the American population can do it. That having been said, this machine has opened up bowling in a very important way. Now the scorekeeper can get just as loaded as everyone else. Speaking as a former scorekeeper, Thank you automatic score machine!
6) Shoes: This has got to be close to the first tool ever made. I think it went spear and then shoes. Our ancestor's feet had to hurt after chasing prey around. My favorite shoe of all time, still the Converse Chuck Taylor Allstar Hi-top.
7) Jenga: This is a personal favorite. Two words- Drinking Jenga!
8) The Bikini / Tube top: They really help women. During the Summer these clothing items help keep ladies cool and comfortable. They can help get rid of tan lines. Can you imagine a state fair, carnival or Theme park without these clothing items. Also cleavage rules!
9) Standup Comedy: A bold chance to express one's comedic ideas to a group of strangers. Live comedy is the best. That is a fact. If you have never seen live standup, go immediately! (We miss you Mitch Hedburg)
10) Chewing Gum / Bubble Gum: Tasty, portable, many flavors. It also comes in handy when one is trying to quit smoking. Like me. Also, everybody likes gum.
Honorable Mentions For The Worst Inventions Ever:
1) Stoplight cameras: Hey if you want to give me a ticket you have to be there and catch me.
2) The FCC: I love it when the Government tells me what is safe for me to see or hear.
3) Tollways: I am from the Chicago area. I think this is purgatory. Screw the tollways!
4) Hallmark Holidays: Hey Hallmark, quit making trouble for us guys. I.E. Sweetest Day.
5) Last Call: I used to work in a bar. I know that the bars can't stay open all night. However, I really do hate last call when I am having a good time.
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