Debunking Famous Myths

I think it is important for people to make up their own minds about things. That is why I ask everyone to carefully consider the following explanations I have discovered for many common and pervasive myths.

The Loch Ness Monster
Myth: A dinosaur like creature still inhabits this murky Scottish lake.

Truth: People in Scotland drink a lot. Then they start seeing shit. There is a reason that stuff is called Scotch. Also, there wasn't a lot of tourism before "Braveheart" came out.


The "G" Spot
Myth: The is a spot on a woman that can induce intense and/or multiple orgasms with very little effort.

Truth: Don't be silly. Everyone knows that women do not have orgasms. Now this myth was created by Feminists and perpetuated by over-acting porno actresses. For the record, I have known some Oscar worthy women.


Bigfoot
Myth: There is a large, furry, man like creature with big feet that lives in the dense forests of the Pacific Northwest. Similar creatures appear in many other cultures and countries. They go by many names including the Yeti or Sasquatch.

Truth: These creatures really do exist, but in very small numbers. Which is a shame because they are quite tasty.


Size
Myth: Women do not care about the size of a man's penis. They care more about his skill as a lover or compatibility as a companion.

Truth: Sorry pin dick. This is a total lie. I should also mention that money is very important as well. As well as a fancy car, fancy house, and plenty of petty cash. It is, however, true that women do like a sense of humor. Provided it comes with all the rest of the other stuff.


Alien Abduction
Myth: Advanced alien civilizations visit the Earth. They often abduct humans and perform bizarre experiments on them. The most famous of which is the anal probe.

Truth: People get drunk, People black out & lose time and people make up stories. I would have an easier time believing aliens abduct cars. At least that would explain my car never seems to be where I left it. Especially after I have been out drinking. Hmmm... maybe aliens invented alcohol to be able to mess with us.


Creationism
Myth: "God" created the entire Universe about 4000 years ago. He accomplished this mighty feat in 6 days. He rested on the 7th.

Truth: The Earth, as well as the rest of the Universe, was created millions of years ago following an enormous cosmic explosion. Over time, the Universe grew, expanded and formed into distinct regions, stars and planets. Eventually life formed and altered by the passage of time and natural selection life EVOLVED into what it is today.

*Special note to Creationists: You find evolution hard to believe? However, you have no problem accepting that an all powerful God, who will not reveal himself, created the Earth, the Universe and mankind. While still finding time to impregnate a virgin while in the form of a dove? Perhaps you should just accept the fact that we exist for only a moment in the Universe and try to have some fun.